……….So you never really got too much background on this cosmic clown of a mystical lover of mine, and for the rest of this tale to make any sense, I should do that.
It is difficult in words to describe Rusty. He is such a kinetic ball of constantly moving energy that it is difficult to understand him standing in his presence. When I came upon him, I was 19, and he was stepping into his saturn return. He had survived an accident years before, and had to relearn everything, from speaking to writing, and went from recovery to retreat and vedic studies of some sort or another. When i met him, he rarely spoke unless necessary, and felt his way through life.
When i met him, it was valentines day, and my love was at my side, holding my hand.
He called for me to let go of inhibitions and stuck places in the mind, and I answered. I expanded, and grew eons with him.
For 20 years….
It is his fault that I have such a hard time understanding traditional monogomy by the way.
Even after I left him and my heart in Santa Cruz, he rode with me psychicly through every relationship I lived, he peeked over my shoulder laughing at my insecurities, my attachments. My stuck places were always jabbed, and awakenings were shared. I always knew it was him, peeking in, testing me.
Twice I magically drew him to me over those 20 years, and each time i was reminded just how strong the connection was. Nothing changed, but his ability to speak the words i always wished he would speak.
The last time i saw him, 6 years ago, he begged me to stay, and with heavy heart, I drove onto the 101 without looking back.
When he called me out of the blue, and charachter, my entire being opened as it did that valentines day when he split me down the center, climbed in and took his place.
He sounded exquisite, and as I wrote the other day, the circumstances allowed me to head his way.
So…… I arrived in San Fran to be picked up by my dear friend Albion. We had an amazing day, connecting with old and new friends, taking in music and networking…. All was well.
I didn’t want to search for him, I knew he would just appear… It was really will power all day that kept me from actually seeking him out.
Finally, before leaving the festival for the night, I called a mutual friend Joe who he planned to be there with.
I called it.