I went to sleep two nights ago after reading a long and intense article that struck me quite hard. It had me thinking about the stories we write for ourselves with the pen of societal judgement, shame and blame. It had me thinking of the fragility that lives inside many larger than life People. It had me thinking of those who don’t have the skills to pull themselves into power after being beaten by those who iconify them. Read it here: everyone should.
“Someone will read this who may be an artist, who understands what it means to walk out the front door and deal with all the madness of the world – black, queer, gender and class. Yet she wills herself to create. And despite a desire to self-destruct, or to take a gun and destroy, she instead finds the generosity to say “Good Morning” to passersby. Or perhaps she starts a movement.” —by
As I drifted off I thought about how strong, outspoken women in this rape culture are not only chastised by the men in their lives, not just by societal norms not just by the media, but by the women in their lives as well… add celebrity and she inside the fish bowl gets even more glares, some even throwing rocks in an effort to shatter the glass and watch her flop in the shard filled puddle of what life force remains
Last night I turned out the light I prayed for Sinead… one of my biggest inspirations as she struggles with exactly what the article the previous night told. Her heart ripped out by the system who chastised her voice since day one… never letting her off the hook for the brave act of being just who she is… speaking her truth when few have the courage to do so.
Now, her babies taken from her, she uses the very platform that took her down to speak her truth and the trolling comments to follow would break even a heart of steel… And SHE is the one they call mentally ill…
And yes… You could ask, why search for the courage to be authentic when the blades shine in our faces ready to cut us down for leaking any of our truth?
Because those truths are all we have, and perhaps for some, the attempts to lie who we are just don’t work and perhaps we just can’t hold those truths in any longer.
All too often, the very things that family, friends, society try to domesticate out of a being make for great eulogy fodder when they have transitioned.I have listened to too many eulogies in my life, not to notice the one common denominator… It is the authenticity of self, expressed in life, that stands out after death. And that is what should be celebrated in both.
And then this morning I came across a quote— A blessed reminder to honor the core truth in our beings
Acquiescing to societal conformity sucks the lifeblood out of us, so what is the point?
Sheroes can be found everywhere. And they don’t always fit the imagery of docile white man “feminine”.
Take Kali Ma for instance…
While I have many miles to go before I rest, I can say that it is a blessing to not only Be my own Sheroine but to honor those who raised me and gave me inspiration to find that way.
I continue to be blessed by the wisdom of my mother and that of those incredible women who supported me coming up. I needed Sheroes, and I wouldn’t be here without them to show me their strength and teach me to be my own source of strength .
I was fortunate to be empowered to use my voice and focus my drive to be my authentic self in a society that has directed us to step away from who we really are and instead “fit in”… fit in to a society that seeks to tear down connection, encouraging competition over collaboration.
In a society that favors gossip and false heart over process and authentic truth.
In a society so domesticated in rape culture We don’t even notice when we women are doing the patriarchal work for “the man”…
- They call US “catty” and we fall for it and cut eachother down–FOR them.
- While the background network teevee chatter directs our girls to create alliances rather than support systems.
- To choose a “real” housewife of (fill in the blank) as a role model instead of recognizing the great power in the regal heart of the diner waitress or the bathroom attendant who works her fingers to the bone to feed her babies and comes home sore.
Those women, the incredible women who pushed me to keep looking inside and to keep telling what I saw… Gave me strength to continue being true to the hero in my own heart. They did so WITH the example of being sources of strength for themselves and for eachOther.
And so while I dance with the backlash of being authentic in a masked society, I continue to be encouraged by the light inside. Sure, it seems easier to bow… I get it… but more and more women are stepping up to lead from the true nature of our strength every day.
Don’t let the man set you up to look outside yourself for heroes. Let your heart be heard and recognize that you are the shero you have been looking for all along.