Energy. It travels faster than matter. We give little credence to the truth of energy as we swirl around bumping matter into matter and calling it fact. We believe that matter defines and determines reality, as though the water wouldn’t exist without the glass.
Actually it doesn’t. It doesn’t exist inside the glass, it doesn’t exist outside of it either–
and so it flows.

My biggest lesson these days is to watch the flow, listen to the movement and allow the question to remain far longer than the answer that seems to present itself. The answer is in the question, but where in the question is the real query.

I love and I love and I love and it just keeps coming back. There is no pain, there is no loss, there is no ending, only forever change. So the only answer worth holding on to IS LOVE. So I just keep loving.
Not trying to hold the love, not trying to be strong, but being the love.
It is all pervading, every time.

Yesterday I felt more love than I could fathom, arms around me, hearts open, mine open to receive it. By becoming the love I needed, it just kept pouring in and out and back, and even when I began to swirl with the other possibilities, I just kept being pivoted back to center.

I arrived at the top of that most beautiful hill, and I spread my blanket in the spot where I stood beside my father, four years ago, and he told me that he wanted his ashes spread there. My family of beloved friends spread their blankets around me and we joined the others who had come to share the experience.

When the plane came over the horizon, carrying my dad over us, the tears flowed and the circle of my loves got tighter, as we watched and felt the plane circle us, we all turned with it. The sound of my father’s magnificent voice flowed down the hill and up into the sky, and with every turn, I saw another beautiful face that I love. Felt another beautiful heart.

More tears. More love.

More confirmation that energy moves faster than matter.
Energy lives longer than matter, energy is forever. There is no pain, no separation, no loss…

Love alive is forever.

I am not a fatherless child. My father will always be here, as he has not gone. His energy in its purest form continues to fortify, nurture, thrive… and he is only gone when I turn away from the love.
With all of the grace and beauty of those who hold me in their hearts, how could I turn away for long?

I have not had time to grieve. There is no time for that.
If I wanted to choose grief, I could live in it, but not for long — I am too loved for that.

Appreciation. Love in appreciation, and the gifts keep flowing in all directions.
I am so fortunate.
I am so very fortunate.
I am so very very fortunate.

I want to thank my father for giving me life, and holding me, even in his death.
I have always shared my dad with the world, and there were times when I didn’t understand why, when I didn’t want to share.
There were times I had forgotten that there is love enough to go around… and more.
Children always want. Children always want more than they think they are getting, children always want.
I am not a child anymore. God Bless The Child, I’ve got my own, and all I ever wanted from my dad is inside of me, and I share happily.
I realize that the world is sharing my dad with me. Memories, stories, heart… Each and every person that has been touched by my father has a gift in their hearts. If we recognize that our hearts are joined, we get ALL OF THE LOVE. It feels so much bigger that way.

Thanks, and praises. I was gifted yesterday.
I was lifted yesterday, and I believe, that we can all fly….
with each other’s wings.


5 thoughts on “Heart Flow

  1. My beautiful Rachel, I have kept you close in my heart and in my prayers. Your father is so very proud of you and all the love you share with us all. I feel so blessed to have reconnected with you. I am always reading your writings and smiling. We are all so very thankful to your father for the gift he gave us with you. Your father is such an amazing being and he will live on forever in so many of us through his music. He is a true ICON. Love will forever keep you protected. I miss you my friend, Paula Krum

  2. when the plane flew overhead, my tears flowed too…I think we all cried from an overflow of love…mixed with a little sadness and missing….but truly that core Essense is with us forever…beautiful writing Rachel…

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