It’s the morning of Christmas eve. There is nothing particularly sentimental about Xmas eve morning except that I have more to appreciate today than I did yesterday- I am alive and beautiful and aware of my surroundings. I have a beautiful family. And I feel loved.   

I have been thinking (as I often do on “lemming” holidays) about the funny way we all scramble around to play the reindeer games. Or…. Consumer games. We are so conditioned to fill the stocking that the cupboards go bare and we as a nation go shopping for stuff. 

Every year I wish I could go away to a tropical island. Find some remote land where the Christians haven’t sent their missions and planted the Christmas seed. 

But instead. December comes and I go shopping.  I have to. I am a mother in my environment. I didn’t do damage control in the early years and santa comes to our house every year. 

And I fill the stocking. 

This year, the usual holiday drama is in order. There’s plenty to be had. And I am doing a whole lot of grounding as we get closer to he big day. (What fucking big day? The kid is going snowboarding on Xmas day anyway) the drama that is in order really has nothing to do with the holidays, it’s just there. The holiday related drama is fendig my Kid off. He knows pretty much what his main prezzie is and he just can’t keep his mind off of it. Why prey tell have I been torturing him for a week and a half? Why do I need to bat him from the tree eery five minutes?
 
I guess because I remember Christmas being about waking up in the morning, the tree glistening in the near dark. Opening presents and spending the lazy morning drinking egg nog and being toasty in your new slippers and robe by the wood stove. Savouring a meal peppered with the din of plates clanking and warm conversation.  

Now as a mom, I understand why the adults craved that rum soaked egg nog. 
They had been fending us off for weeks after busting their asses to fill the stockings. 

Hello. My name is Rachel and I am a lemming.  

I made some egg nog. It is going to be yummy. Today. All day. 

And. I am going to be doing plenty of work to keep from slipping Into the energetic pool of holiday stress and strife. Egg nog. Keeping my energy close. Egg nog. Snugging my kid and my cat and my Honey. More egg nog. 
Here’s to creating beauty and sweetness in your holiday.